I had this hypothesis that people say, “You haven’t changed at all” when meeting after a long time because people behave differently around different people.
Let me explain. For example, I behave slightly differently with my friends from college and my friends back in school. I met these friends at different stages of my life. I was not the same person I was in school when I was in college.
Now when I meet my school friends after a long time, we seem to pick up right where we left off. It is as if nobody has changed since 2013. But we did. I am sure I did.
So my hypothesis is that this incorrect conclusion that everything and everyone is the same is because we behave very differently when we are with different people. That is why you are able to pick things up as if you have been meeting them every day for the last ten years.
I’m sure I did not discover this, but I tested this when I met my high school friends after a long time. And I could see how my brain flipped a switch, and I am a different person around them. But now I know what is happening and am aware that I am behaving differently.
Anyway, this is a cool discovery. I have heard a lot about people evolving from friends. But I have always had different friend groups I meet frequently and enjoy spending time with. There is absolutely no reason why you have to evolve from friends or trade one set of friends for another.